its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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