i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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