did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Drake has all the answers
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
