theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
