I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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