This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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