Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
