i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
