does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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