His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
How naked do you want me to be?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
