I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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