Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
