I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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