We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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