i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
