Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
