Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
