i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
