Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
