And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
