we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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