i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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