Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
