He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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