I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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