Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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