Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
