But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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