its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
