a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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