hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
