Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
