ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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