Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
