were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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