My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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