Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
