I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
