until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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