after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
