I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
