He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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