Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize