Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
