do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
