in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Will exercising make me less horny?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
