During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
