i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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