Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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