Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
