I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
