In the future we'll all be gay
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
