I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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