She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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