My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
